So about a thug's thoughts...
*le sigh* Here it goes....
Why is it that women get labeled "too attached", "crazy", or "in their feelings" when they ask a guy about their intentions with her? I don't see what the problem is. Look at it like this, dude is taking up YOUR time, giving YOU conversation, and getting to know YOU. So, why is wrong to question where that relationship is going? Okay, so he hits you with the "well, I'm not trying to be in a relationship right now". In your head you scream "Me either, Asshole! Damn, can't I just get some type of direction?" However, you just say "I understand. Just thought I ask". Don't you just hate that?
Once you spend enough time with someone you clearly build a bond. The bond I'm referring to isn't about just kicking it together, texting (ugh I feel like that is so childish but I guess), and occasional phone calls. This bond is much stronger. This bond involves intimate conversation about real shit, quality-building time together, and the occasional great intimacy. The more I've experienced as a younger woman, the more I've grown into a more knowledgeable woman. Therefore, I know what I will and will not accept with guys and I also know how imperative it is to know who and what I'm getting mixed up with.
I think that we as women purposely ignite relationships with men that they know are no good for them! I also think that we do this because naturally, women are lovers, nurturers, and caring and we yearn for companionship, loyalty, and comfortableness. In turn, we think that we're going to turn this 'dangerous player' into what we need. However, it RARELY works out like that.
So, I started to take a different approach on dating. First, I create my own rules, my own boundaries, and keep my own mind. I find that we let the wrong qualities (*coughs* bedroom boom!) blind us of what we really need to thrive and to be happy. Secondly, if I don't have all 3 things I need in this friendship/relationship, well I'm going to accept 2... Now, hear me out: I say this because if I knowingly agree to something then I can't complain when its all said and done. That goes back to the boundaries that you set you must know the consequences of being blinded and to avoid that. Third, you can't be afraid or hesitant to have a talk about what you want or need for the time being out of this relationship. Having that talk will save you loads of deceit, heartbreak, and slashed tires. Sometimes (shit, probably 75% of the time) you all aren't going to agree on anything. Some one may leave upset or in tears but that's waaaay better than to have those same feelings prolonged for months or even years.
Love and Life is like making a million and one mistakes to actually it get it right. We all learn and grow from experience.
 |
| Haaaaan! |
