Being Secretly 'Hood' in the Office enviroment

Okay, so I recently started a new job in an office as an Administrative Secretary. I’ve been here since August of 2013. If you were to look up my duties and the pay then you’d say something like “Damn, that’s a good job, Ash!” Well, I can’t even lie. It really is an awesome place to work. There’s a number of reasons why this job is the sh*t. I take online classes so I have ample time to do school work. They let me off when I need it. I get paid for being off (personal time, holidays, etc). We’re always having parties. Everyone is friendly. Okay, that’s it.

Now here’s my dilemma. Even though I’m surrounded by nice, my-father-color faces for 8 hours a day, it’s still hard to blend. You may be thinking what the hell are you talking about Ash? I know, I know. I’m practically white too (Black Mother/White Father). And initially, I thought the same thing….

However, I forgot how I hood I was!

MUSIC:

In addition, I listen to hood music at my desk. So, I’m always low-key with listening to Juicy J or Big Sean. I’m sorry I don’t listen to Jason Aldean and his song about riding his big green tractor (was that his song though?) So, my coworkers are always blasting their country music and I’m over here with headphones on trying to balance listening to Juicy J talk about bands making someone dance and listening out for my desk phone. Then I start dancing or singing at my desk. Ultimately, someone walks by and I have to laugh it off or explain that I was working my glutes. It’s skressful mane!

FOOD:

Parties are always fun right? FREE FOOD is the absolute effin’ best! Obviously, I’m always looking forward to the parties at work. The first party I attended at my job was for Thanksgiving. Okay, so I’m hyped up. Again, it’s FREE FOOD. The day of the party I didn’t eat breakfast or lunch…yes, the thirst was real.

I peeped the table where all the food was from across the room. All these different smells raced towards my nose and my stomach took them all in like “Whats up withcu?” Okay, so I get in line and wait. Finally I get to the table and not only am I highly confused but pissed!

I open the trays and I’m staring at the food in awe. “What the hell is this?” Some lady whose mouth was watering explained what everything was. “Zucchini bread” “some Japanese dish” (thanks Kowit) “Organic dip” “Raw Broccoli and vinaigrette dressing” and so on! Man, I threw… no, no I slammed dunked my plate in the trash and walked back to my office. 

 

CONVERSATION:

Fat Boy in the Picture

I can honestly say that I do talk a lot. It can be about a lot of things. But in my office, all they can seem to talk about is football and their kids. They occasionally talk about Miley Cyrus (that's because we are ALL in shock of her behavior). I don’t care too much for football and I don’t have kids. So I’m just like the little fat kid in that picture. Then when I’m actually in conversation with someone then I have to carefully choose my words. I told you I speak in slang. I speak in slang almost 90% of the time when talking. I even said “What's Good?” to my boss one morning! SMH! I catch myself saying all types of things. It’s embarrassing to be honest. I was raised by a black mother, black step father, and a southern ass grandmother. It’s just how I talk but its common sense for any white collar worker to understand the importance of your speech. It needs to be clear and educated to a certain degree. I’m in no way shape or form illiterate by a longshot. I know what I want to say, it just comes out a tad bit hood.

Overall, I love my job. I'm in college for legal studies so I need to shape up soon!

I can't work for a law firm and tell clients to not "front on me"......