It's been so long since I've made any posts! That doesn't mean I haven't been thinking aggressively.... Before I get into my latest rant, I'm going to share an update on myself... a
First and foremost, I've been stooopid busy trying to finish up school! (I graduate July, yay me!) I've also switched jobs (*plays The Jefferson's theme song*). So, I'm always working and working late at that. Gained new friends and lost old ones. Put on weight and worked it off. No relationship(s) (I'll get into that). Oh, and my hair is a lot longer too...
So, since becoming single about a year and half ago, I've realized a lot about myself and establishing new romantic relationships. It's a lot to learn about yourself when you've been with one person for so long. It's like, all you know. One major thing I've decided upon was to NOT settle. I mean you hear this ALL the time about not settling and blah, blah, blah. But, I truly understand what that means. And what I mean by settling is this: forcing yourself to like a person and to be comfortable with that person. Everybody is NOT for you. For example, they may be financial stable but they're an asshole. They may be cute but they're a bum. They may be intellectually intriguing but only communicates with you a few times a day or week (tell me I'm pretty dammit!). Then you morph into this person who tries to FORCE it work. However, in the end, it doesn't work out. Now, you're forced to deal with the fact that you've wasted time and opportunity with this person. "Omg! Why did I waste so much time?". Another problem is that you can't help that! For women, it's especially hard to NOT get attached to someone because we're all Hopeless Romantics (yes, you are girl.) And I've said this before: We just want to be happy with a partner by our side. Obviously, this process is a little hard and we go through many mistakes trying to connect with someone. (some mistakes will last for years *coughs* marriages) Hence, my solution that works for me....
I stop investing time into ONE person. I keep my options open. Now, BY NO MEANS DOES THIS MEAN KISS AND LIE DOWN WITH EVERY GUY YOU LIKE! (Keep it classy, bih). What I mean is this: Date. Converse. Hang out. Establish friendships. Be yourself (being fake will only bite you in the ass). Be open. I honestly believe that there is somebody for everybody. There is someone on this earth that you can be comfortable with. Someone you can be open with. Someone who'll have your back. Someone that'll give you what you give them. Additionally, I don't think about a relationship every time I meet a new guy. My goal is to build a friendship with this person because he may not be "boyfriend" material but he may be great "friend-zone" material. There have been so many times where I've made the mistake of not building friendships (you have too!).
I also believe in giving back what you've received. I don't want to sound petty but I keep a tally on our association. You only call me once week; I'll only call you once a week. You tell me about your family, I'll tell you about mine. You pay for dinner; I'll pay for it next time. I've learned to not over-indulge with people because I would expect it back and I didn't get it. Some people say not to guard yourself because you will let opportunity pass. Nah bro, keep that barbed wire fence up until you're ready to take it down. There is absolutely no use in falling for someone and they haven't even looked down at you.
Being open helps too. I don't lie or down play my actions. If we are "just friends" then why should I lie about me going on a movie date Friday? Unless, you tell me how you feel about me then I'll never know. Beating around the bush (on both ends) does nothing but send mixed signals.
At the end of the day, we all do what we think is best when establishing new relationships. I'm just telling you what works for me. I know ALOT of chicks (and a few dudes) who go on emotional rollercoasters when they can just SPARE themselves by finding out what they'll accept and what they won't tolerate.
I can honestly say at this moment, I'm comfortably happy. I've channeled my focus into things that currently matter and are easy for me to do. (school, work, eating…eh).
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| Yeen miss me tho..... Sidenote: This picture was at Ihop. Why is there a burger on the wall as opposed to a pancake? |
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